Even by his own rich standards, Joe Bennett's had a remarkable year.

New Zealand's foremost columnist has written the inaugural speech for Barack Obama ("Yea, verily, I am come unto you"), given the world a crash course in high finance ("First find your hobo"), watched Christianity play Islam at football, been in court twice (once as Britney Spears), eavesdropped the Pope in Africa, and correctly predicted the skin colour of the Olympics 100-metre champion three weeks before the race was run.

He's given advice to people who're thinking of buying a jogger ("Don't"), written personal ads ("Narcissist seeks similar") and even a poem ("Tis the day before Christmas and what could be worse, Than having a columnist break into verse?"), and all in all he's done his best to shine light on a naughty world with language as fresh as a virgin's breath.